nothing much

Well, I'm depressed again. I was up...way up yesterday. Felt great, had a great day at work, enjoyed the kids, went to two friends houses after work, played with the kids outside in between the visits, painted and read with the kids...it was awesome. I want to cry today. I am beside myself. I could hardly bring myself to bathe the kids. I didn't want to read a story to my son and snapped at him for not picking out a book more quickly. The worst part? It is my fault. I decided that things were going so well and the extra half of a pill of lexapro tasted so awful because no matter what I do it dissolves in my mouth...I decided just to not take it. So, here I am...depressed. Hmmm.... didn't see that coming either...gotta wonder sometimes. My husband gave me a stern lecture. I would be laughing at myself if I wasn't holding back tears. And my head hurts. And for some reason I am developing large painful ovarian cysts. They thought it was my appendix at first. Going for a sono as soon as I can schedule one. I have been pretty sick for the last couple weeks. Another reason that I really didn't want that nasty taste in my mouth. Hopefully tomorrow goes better. I would love to have a drink but I am afraid to add another chemical to my body just now. I have been going to bed at about 8 for the last few weeks. Crazy. Very difficult to get things done when you sleep 11 hours a day :-) Anyway, I don't have much to say other than I am sad and frustrated. Waiting for another "up". I could really use one right now.

On the brighter side, my sister has finally decided to get some help. I hope things work out for her.

Oh, and I am NEVER going to eat at McDonalds again. Supersize me really is a good movie. My husband actually started worrying about what we feed our children. That takes it a step further than just working on changing his own habits. He wants to make sure that we all change our eating habits. I think he really took it to heart. This, along with the fact that he just found out that his weight is actually crushing his spine, was a much needed wake-up call. I hope it lasts this time. I have a lot of hope this time...I don't think it is misplaced.