hmmm

Why do I feel the need to share my dirty secrets and then delete them all? What does that help? Am I crazy for wanting to share them to begin with? So many people don't understand sharing. I can't stop myself from talking. This gets into trouble. Friends lost. Friends who remain never understand...no one is ever comfortable with me again. Why do I care?

I haven’t been here for some time. I have had a number of experiences this year that have changed my perspective on life. I will never be a teacher again. Not in the traditional sense anyway. I will never blindly trust someone to treat my children well. No matter how well I think I can trust someone, I absolutely can not allow that to happen. I also don’t want my children to be coddled so I must maintain the appearance that I trust all of their authority figures. Police officers are “good guys” and teachers are smart. Yea. Sure. Everyone is a stranger except for your family. Yes, your uncle is part of your family. I know you have only seen him twice that you can recall but you can trust him. Of course, I don’t know him either but I’m sure he’s alright. ???

The number of my friends and acquaintances who have had affairs is absolutely staggering. I am feeling a bit better about my experience. One time drunken thing that I have learned to pass off. I don’t care about feelings right now. I can live like this forever rather than go through what all of these other couples are going through. Lust is not love and does not endure. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut about experiences and confidences. I suppose I should not be trusted in any case.

Alas, I must depart. I will likely write more later. I can’t help but to share.